Sleep difficulties when a child or young person is experiencing autistic burnout

When sleep is disrupted

When your child is in burnout, sleep can become a significant challenge. Their sleep pattern may become unpredictable, or they may shift into being awake through the night, and this can ripple through the whole household.

You might notice they’re not hungry at the same times as everyone else, or that they’re most alert late at night. Mornings can be especially difficult, with exhaustion making it impossible for them to function. Nighttime brings additional challenges, as your child may be awake, restless, distressed, or simply needing company. You might find yourself cooking a hot meal at three in the morning, watching television with your youngster in the middle of the night, or even going for a drive in the early hours.

These changes may feel confusing and difficult, but they signify a highly stressed nervous system struggling to regain a sense of safety.

Sleep itself can vary a lot during burnout. Some young people experience long periods of wakefulness or insomnia, sometimes staying awake for 48 hours or more. Others have disrupted sleep, including night terrors, sleepwalking, or sleep paralysis. There may be days when they barely sleep at all, followed by long stretches of deep sleep lasting 18 hours or more.

For some, their body clock shifts entirely, running on a longer cycle so that sleep and wake times move later each day, gradually rotating around the clock. Others become fully nocturnal, waking up in the evening and going to sleep as the sun rises.

The more I tried to fix O’s sleep in the early days, when I knew nothing about burnout, the worse it got until it ended up in a non-24-hour pattern. Sleep itself is a demand, and then if you add expectations around timing, you end up adding demand on top of demand.

While this pattern has an impact on our family life, it appears to be what best supports O’s recovery. She now typically sleeps for 8 to 9 hours, though this can be shorter if her sleep is disrupted.

At the beginning, O couldn’t express why she was sleeping when she did. Now, even though she’s in a non-24 hour pattern, she says she prefers when she’s awake at night, when the house is quieter. I believe this is a common experience because nighttime tends to be when demands are lowest, so it feels better to be awake then.
O’s Parent

A whole family impact

When a child or young person is experiencing burnout, sleep can become one of the biggest challenges affecting the whole family. Just as you begin to adapt, their pattern may change again.

Autistic and ADHD people commonly experience sleep differences, and there is good information available about neurodivergence and sleep. However, during burnout, these differences can become much more pronounced and much more challenging. Their sleep patterns may become highly variable, making it hard to predict when they’ll be awake, or they may be exclusively awake at night. Sleeping at unusual times makes it much harder for your child to access support, attend appointments, or engage with services.

Chronic stress interferes with sleep for both you and your child. You may find yourself up at all hours supporting them, cooking meals in the early hours, supervising a bath in the middle of the night, or sitting with them when they cannot settle. Then, during daylight hours, you may be attending meetings, advocating for support, and trying to keep up with work and other responsibilities. There may be very little opportunity for you to rest.

Sleep deprivation takes its toll. It makes it harder to stay calm, think clearly, or respond in the way you would like. You may feel irritable, overwhelmed, or stretched beyond your limits. This is not a personal failing – it’s the impact of sustained exhaustion. Taking care of yourself is vitally important, even if that feels difficult right now. You may find our post “You can’t pour from an empty cup” – A self-care guide for parents of children and young people in burnout helpful.

When support misses the point

When you share these difficulties with professionals, your child’s lack of sleep is often seen as the cause of their inability to attend school or engage with services. There may be an assumption that if your child could just sleep properly, everything else would fall into place. In reality, their difficulties are usually a result of high levels of stress, overwhelm, and anxiety.

Their sleep difficulties are a symptom of their distress, not the cause of it.

You may be offered parenting courses focused on setting firmer boundaries, or you may be expected to implement sleep hygiene advice. You may also hear suggestions about using melatonin. In the United Kingdom, melatonin is only available on prescription and can be incredibly difficult to access for children and young people. While you may choose to pursue a melatonin prescription for your child, that’s a long-term goal, and it doesn’t address the immediate challenges you’re facing day to day.

Why typical sleep advice does not help

Sleep advice is often based on a set of well-recognised activities. These include maintaining a consistent bedtime routine, getting morning light, increasing physical activity, avoiding naps, and limiting screen use before bed.

The difficulty is that all of these rely on your child being able to tolerate additional demands. During burnout, even small expectations can feel overwhelming. When a child is already under significant stress, adding more demands increases that stress. Stress, in turn, makes it harder for their body to fall asleep.

This means that the standard strategies make things worse because they don’t recognise or address the underlying cause of the sleep difficulties.

Your child’s sleep during burnout is not a ‘behavioural issue’ that needs fixing. They are not ‘choosing’ to sleep at unusual times, even if they appear to be resisting or controlling their sleep. Their sleep difficulties are a sign that their nervous system is highly stressed and trying to find a sense of safety. When their stress levels outweigh their internal sleep pressure, it can override their body’s natural sleep drive, even when they are exhausted.

What actually helps

Because of this, the most important focus is not on controlling sleep, but on reducing stress. Lowering demands wherever possible allows your child’s nervous system the space it needs to begin recovering. This is the main advice for burnout recovery as a whole, but it’s particularly true of sleep since it’s so fundamental to wellbeing.

In the early stages of burnout recovery, it can be very tempting to try to fix your child’s sleep. You may feel pressure to help them return to a more typical routine. However, pushing for changes to their sleep and wake cycle at this point will likely cause additional distress.

For now, the most supportive approach is to let them sleep whenever they can and for as long as they need. This may look very different from what you’re used to, and it may not feel sustainable in the long term. However, at this stage, rest is essential to recovery.

Why does it take so long for sleep to improve?

You might expect that once demands are reduced, their sleep (and everything else) will quickly improve. Often, the opposite happens at first.

This is because your child’s body is beginning to process all the stress it’s endured. They’ve been unable to relax for a long time, and it may be a long time before they truly feel safe.

Remember, your child is not consciously choosing to sleep at unusual times, but their body may unconsciously recognise the value of being out of sync with everyone else.

Their nervous system is seeking respite from demands:

If your child is asleep all day, no one expects anything of them. They are free from demands. Importantly, they know you’re up and about, keeping watch. They feel safe enough to sleep.
When your child is awake all night, they can enjoy the peace and quiet while everyone else sleeps. They can spend their time as they please, and no one will ask anything of them. They have autonomy and space to exercise it.

Over time, their sleep cycles will change as their sense of safety and trust increases.

How it feels for your child

As your child begins to recover, they may become aware that their sleep difficulties are a barrier to moving forward in their life. This can bring feelings of worry, guilt, and shame.

They may put a great deal of pressure on themselves to fall asleep or to get back into a routine. Unfortunately, this pressure increases stress in the body, making it even harder to sleep and slowing recovery from burnout.

Pressure from others, even when well-intentioned, adds to this.

If your child talks about their sleep, it can be helpful to reassure them that sleep difficulties are very common during burnout and that this is just a phase. As they recover, their sleep will improve. In the meantime, it’s far more important that they sleep and rest as much as needed and whenever they need to.

Will my child be OK?

The early stages of burnout can be frightening for parents. Even if you’ve heard of burnout and know what to look for, few people are prepared for what it actually looks like day to day. It can feel even more overwhelming when you don’t yet have a name for what’s happening to your child, and finding the right support or reassurance isn’t always easy.

Disturbed sleep is a very common part of burnout. Your child is not unusual if their sleep is unpredictable, non-24-hour, or fully nocturnal. It’s also not unusual for these patterns to last for months, or even longer.

It’s often said that recovery from burnout can take as long as it took to develop. A key part of that recovery is allowing the nervous system to find respite from demands. Sleep is one of the ways the body does this, which means it may look very different from what you would normally expect for quite some time.

Accepting these changes and working with them won’t make things worse. Supporting your child to sleep whenever they can, and for as long as they need, is an important part of recovery.

For much of this time, sleep isn’t something you can fix, and trying to influence it may add more pressure. But as your child begins to feel safer and more settled, their sleep will gradually shift. When that happens, you may be able to gently explore some of the strategies below to see what helps.

J was mostly nocturnal for 8 months last year and needed me to co-regulate around his food needs and supervise online things, so my sleep was badly impacted. The knock-on impact was massive.

There was nothing I could do to influence it, and if I tried, it impacted our relationship, so it wasn’t worth pushing for change. As with so many of these burnout experiences, accepting it’s what needs to happen and letting time pass is sometimes the only and best way.

At the end of last year, he was motivated to be awake more in the day. I think because he wanted to be awake with others in the house, and stopped liking being so alone at night. So he switched back to more nighttime sleeping independently. And in the last few weeks, he has started to stay awake much later, sometimes until 2am, then awake mid-dayish – so maybe it’s changing again?
J’s Parent

No quick fixes, but a way forward

There are no quick solutions for sleep during burnout. There’s very little research in this area, and much of what we know is based on lived experience. What we can offer is reassurance that you’re not alone. We share these experiences and understand your worries.

As your child’s stress levels decrease and their recovery advances, their sleep may gradually start to improve. Over time, and only when they’re ready, you may be able to introduce small, gentle interventions with their consent, slowly and one at a time.

If your child shows an interest in improving their sleep, you can offer a few ideas and let them choose what feels manageable. Giving them control will build their trust and confidence.

If you trial an idea and it doesn’t work, that simply means they’re not ready for it yet. You can pause and try again after a few days or weeks, or try a different approach. Progress is gradual, and it’s important to move at your child’s pace. Rushing will increase the pressure and could set their recovery back.

Sleep strategies you might try (when your child is ready):

Sensory regulation tools for sleep aim to calm the nervous system and prepare the body for rest. Your child may have strong sensory needs, meaning some tools could be really calming, while others might make them feel overwhelmed. What helps will be highly individual, and your child’s preferences are the best guide.

Deep pressure tools

These stimulate your child’s proprioceptive sense. Some children find deep pressure very reassuring. Tools such as weighted blankets (which should be approximately 10% of your child’s body weight) are now relatively inexpensive. Compression sheets and pods made of stretchy Lycra fabrics also provide a firm, consistent pressure that can help a child feel safe.

Visual tools

Tools that reduce visual stimulation, such as an eye mask or bed tent, might help your child relax. But if they seek soothing, low-level visual stimulation, products such as fibre-optic lights, a sensory bubble tube, or a lava lamp will be more appropriate.

Auditory tools

If your child finds noise soothing, they might appreciate a white noise machine, a fan, or an app like Calm, which offers hundreds of sleep soundtracks. Alternatively, if they like silence, they may benefit from sleep earplugs such as Loop Dream.

Vestibular tools

Some children really benefit from gentle rhythmic motion, so you might consider buying your child a rocking chair or a hammock. A popular, readily available choice is the POÄNG chair from Ikea.

Olfactory tools

Fragrances are like Marmite for children in burnout – they either love them or despise them. Lavender spray or essential oil is the most commonly endorsed scent for improving sleep and inducing calm, but others, such as chamomile, bergamot, marjoram, cedarwood, and clary sage, are also often recommended.

Tactile tools

Soft, textured fabrics like faux fur or velvet can be very soothing. Your child may already have hundreds of soft toys, but they may also appreciate super-furry jumpers or blankets to snuggle in.

Oral tools

Chewing and sucking provide calming proprioceptive input through the jaw. Chewy silicone jewellery and chewing gum are popular with kids, as is eating ice cubes and drinking through a straw.

By introducing a predictable calming activity into your child’s evening schedule, you can begin building a basic bedtime routine. At this stage, a sleep hygienist’s detailed bedtime routine is almost certainly out of reach, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the first tentative steps towards creating a series of familiar cues that help your child feel settled, safe and ready to rest.

Typical activities include:

Taking a quick bath before bedtime
Reading a story or listening to an audiobook
Listening to some calming music
Doing some simple breathing exercises
Enjoying a short guided visualisation or meditation
Working through a few yoga poses
Undertaking a simple mindfulness activity such as colouring in

The best temperature for sleep is between about 16°C and 19°C. Ensuring that the thermostat is set to keep your child’s bedroom between these temperatures (ideally 18°C), and that their bedding isn’t too hot or too cold, can help them sleep better. This is because a natural dip in body temperature is needed for deep, restorative sleep, and this is disrupted if the room is too warm or too cold.

If your child struggles to sleep because their mind is full of thoughts, having a half-hour chat before bed can help. It gives them a chance to process thoughts, share worries, or make sense of anything that might otherwise keep their mind busy when they lie down. By setting a specific time to consider these thoughts, your child can feel that they have dealt with them and let them go.

It’s also a fantastic opportunity to focus your connection with your young person. Offering them space to talk about their ideas, memories, and what worries them signals that you value what they have to say and enjoy their company. Together you can create a reassuring routine that reduces their anxiety and helps them relax, ready for sleep.

Opening your child’s curtains or blinds in the morning helps reset their body clock, or circadian rhythm. Natural daylight signals to the brain that it’s time to wake up. It also underpins the sleep-wake cycle, making your child more likely to feel sleepy at night.

Additionally, closing the curtains or blinds before bedtime and dimming the lights signals that it’s time to wind down.

You might also try a SAD lamp or a daylight bulb. These devices can sometimes be programmed to gradually turn on in the morning and off at night, mimicking the rising and setting of the sun. Some popular products include Lumie Bodyclock and LIFX Smart Light.

That said, during burnout, many young people prefer low light and find sunlight overwhelming. If that’s the case for your child, this isn’t the right strategy yet.

Probably the most widely known sleep hygiene recommendation is to turn off screens about 60 minutes before bed. This is because the light emitted by phones, tablets, and computers is thought to interfere with the body’s natural sleep-wake cycle. Engaging with stimulating content, such as social media, games, or videos, can also keep your child’s mind alert, helping prevent them from falling asleep.

Of course, for many children experiencing burnout, screentime helps them relax or at least distracts them from thoughts that distress them. Taking their devices away may actually increase stress and further disrupt sleep, so this needs to be approached carefully.

Sleep hygiene experts suggest that bedrooms should be reserved as dedicated spaces for sleep. The idea is to build a strong mental association between that space and rest, so your child automatically feels more relaxed when they spend time there and finds it easier to wind down.

However, a common feature of burnout is that young people may spend months barely leaving their bedrooms. This means their bedroom may be linked with alertness rather than relaxation.

It’s impractical to expect a young person not to spend time in their room, especially when it’s their safe space. However, you could try encouraging your child to spend several hours in a different room before bedtime. Sleep experts suggest this will help their brains make the connection between their bedroom and sleep.

Another facet to consider is the tidiness of their bedroom. Tidy rooms are associated with calm, so if your child consents, you might consider a bit of decluttering.

There are claims that certain foods can support the body’s production of melatonin. The science is inconclusive, but if your child is open to the idea, it may be worth trying. The suggestion is that eating these foods a few hours before bedtime ensures a ready supply of the ingredients your child’s body needs to manufacture the sleep hormone in time for bed. The suggested foods include:

Meat, poultry and fish
Dairy and egg products
Beans
Nuts and seeds
Some cereals, e.g., oats

You could offer your child meals such as peanut butter on toast, cheese and crackers, porridge, an egg muffin, or a banana at suppertime. It could be good to accompany this with a glass of cold milk or a warm milk drink. The list even offers a surprise justification for giving in to your child’s McDonald’s chicken nuggets demands!

Of course, if your child has a restricted diet, none of these foods may be acceptable to them, so you can just ignore this suggestion.

Caffeine is probably the world’s best-known stimulant. It’s famous for helping you stay awake, so avoid giving your young person coffee, tea, or caffeinated soft drinks for at least 6 hours before they are due to sleep.

Many products are marketed as sleep supplements, but the scientific evidence for them is weak, inconclusive, or in some cases nonexistent. The evidence is sometimes stronger for supplements that claim to reduce anxiety, improve resistance to stress, and support mental wellbeing, though research into their effects in children is rare.

As stress is the underlying cause of sleep difficulties in burnout, we offer the suggestions below for you to research on your own. However, you should consult a healthcare professional before starting your child on any supplement. This is especially important if you are combining supplements with medication or with other supplements, as they may interact or be otherwise incompatible.

Magnesium
L-Theanine
Omega-3 Fatty Acids
B Vitamins (B12, B6, B3)
Vitamin D
Ashwaganda
Valerian root

Of course, your child may refuse any form of pill or supplement, no matter how much like a gummy sweet it looks. If this is the case, there’s not much you can do.

A note about sleep and food

Sleep and food are closely connected. It’s common for a young person experiencing burnout to struggle with both.

Disordered eating and a restricted diet can make sleep even more challenging. It‘s difficult to sleep when hungry, and tiredness can increase cravings for quick, high-energy, but unhealthy foods. This can mean that your child wants to snack on junk foods like crisps and sweets.

At the same time, choosing food and eating can feel like a demand for your child, so introducing new foods or interfering with their food choices can be counterproductive.

It can be tricky to decide whether it’s safe to place pressure on food choices during burnout, so if in doubt, it’s probably best not to interfere.

One of the things I learned from the At Peace Parents Paradigm Shift course was that when a basic need like sleep, hygiene or eating etc. starts to become a struggle, the best approach often isn’t to focus on that need itself. Instead, it can be more helpful to accommodate as much as possible in other areas and lower demands elsewhere. By reducing the overall pressure and “emptying the demand bucket,” their nervous system can start to feel safer and less overwhelmed. Once that sense of felt safety is there, there should hopefully be a positive shift with the basic need you are struggling with, though often it’s the very last thing to improve when recovering from burnout.
A’s Parent

Useful resources

First published:

19 April 2026

Last updated:

24 May 2026